Deborah,
The house, like the “cave,” belongs to the cavewoman. It's her cave. She just lets the caveman exist in it and sometimes he is not as meticulous as he should be regarding things like picking up after himself, putting down the toilet seat, putting up his dirty dished, much less housework. You do have to admit that even when he does do housework, it’s not up to par or your standards. C'mon, you know it's true! How many times have you said, or thought, "How can you be as old as you are and not know how to clean a bathroom correctly?"

He comes from the murky World of Bachelors, Deborah, where it’s weird to have housework done near him. So break him in slowly. Make him responsible for small things at first. Then, when he completes his tasks, praise him. Don't tell him how he did it wrong or show him how to do it right. Praise the effort and relax. Does it really matter if the toilet paper rolls from outside, rather than in?


Dear Caveman,
Why is it that when a holiday comes around and gift giving is upper most in my mind, my significant other runs out last minute and digs up whatever he can? There is obviously no thought put to the gift or the card (if I even get that).
Michele
Summerlin

Hi Michele.
Feel free to cut this out and leave it where he'll find it... (BAUB, CAN YOU PUT LINES AROUND THE NEXT GRAPH LIKE IT’S A COUPON?)

Caveman Shopping Tactic Number One: Contact one of your Gatherer's girlfriends, swear her to secrecy*, then arrange to meet her on a shopping expedition to hunt down the perfect gift for your goddess. Listen to the friend and purchase accordingly.

*She'll tell your Gatherer anyway. This will ensure the purchasing of the exact gift you Gatherer wants, and you'll still get credit for caring—more than any of your lousy buddies who do their shopping at 7/Eleven at midnight on Christmas Eve, i.e. But Honey, I thought you liked Slim Jims!"

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Kevin Burke stars nightly in the Broadway
hit "Defending the Caveman" at the
Golden Nugget. For tickets, go to
www.GoldenNugget.com. Also check out
Kevin's Myspace page: CavemanVegas.